I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
