Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just high enough for therapy.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize