You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
