Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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