i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Found your dick twin last night
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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