Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
