All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
