I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
