He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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