It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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