i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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