Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
