Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
