I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize