Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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