I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
