So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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