we're blogging at a bar
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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