She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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