he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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