Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
