mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize