did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
