I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
