So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
