out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
