the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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