do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
