My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
