Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
