can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
