You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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