he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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