We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
