I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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