I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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