I wanna bring you to show and tell
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I want a musical about memes.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
