I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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