I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
