everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize