There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
