At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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