No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
