Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
