Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
