i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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