I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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