Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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