u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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