Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
