we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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