I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
