so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
