you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
