my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
