i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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