there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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