I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
