Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We had to coat check the pizza.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I fill condoms, not promises.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
