i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
