i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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