Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
