shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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