What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
