Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
