rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize