whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
