Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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