Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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