just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
