you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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