Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
