you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
