Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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