How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
