do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
