You really coming over, don't trick.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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