the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
porn star boner night. come get it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
