we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
