people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im holly from the hills drunk
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
