why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
