I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
