i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
